TOAST

I haven't been on vacation yet but I'm going... otherwise I think I'm going to lose my mind... Have you ever felt like quitting? I mean have you ever felt like you wanted to pack your stuff and hit the road? I have. Some folks don’t understand that about pastors. We’re hesitant to even talk about it for fear of giving into our insecurities. But still, the urge comes sometimes… I especially feel like walking away when I’m burned out. I know I’m burned out whenever I feel like everything I have emotionally, spiritually, intellectually (albeit small), and physically have all been given away. And I know the warning signs too, but I ignore them until it’s too late. I’m going on vacation this week because I’ve reached that point – I’m toast! I’m not whining, just putting it out there. Maybe by talking thru it I can find a spark – you know? This isn’t the first time I’ve smacked against the wall. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. But I know the process I have to go thru in order to figure out where I am… maybe by sharing this you too might find encouragement the next time you feel like a piece of burned toast. As you read thru this, you'll understand how you can pray for us during our time away.

By God’s grace I’m still in ministry today even though at times I’ve been thru the wringer and had to deal with some trash that made me want to quit. Nothing has specifically happened to me this time, just the accumulation of junk that's getting pretty heavy. I'm just feeling like it never ends. I can't escape from the constant demands - I hope you understand that... I need a recharge. Inevitably, whenever I go thru this process I am lead to do the following:

1. I go back to the time when God called me to the ministry. I have to revisit that place and rekindle that relationship with Him. In so doing, I reestablish confidence in God’s calling on my life.

2. I also take time to reflect over past troubles and trials and remember the faithfulness of the Lord. When I do that, I’m always reminded that on the other side of the greatest difficulties usually are the greatest blessings.

3. I’m trying to get back into shape physically lately, and one thing I’ve realized is that it sure is a lot tougher to get into shape than it was to get out of shape. Exercise is hard. Just like running and working out, the trials we go thru make us stronger if they don’t kill us :-)

4. Another thing I’ve realized about ministry is that working with sinful people is messy business. And in the midst of ministering, it’s easy to overlook my own need for repentance. Part of my burnout inevitably results from depending on myself more than depending on God and that is sin that needs to be confessed & dealt with.

5. Lastly, we have to always remember that God wants us to continue to pursue the ministry to which He has called us. The person who wants us out is Satan… And I’m pretty stubborn when it comes to giving in to the enemy… 

So I'm going to try and not feel sorry for myself, but sort thru the issues I'm lugging around... Pray for God's grace and a time of restoration... Thanks...kb

 

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