A True Friend

The older I get the more I realize the importance of true friends. I also realize that I have far fewer true friends than I may think. That’s the raw reality of life. My dad used to tell me that, but I never accepted what he said. I argued with him then, but I now see that he was right.
One thing I have learned over the years is that my best friend on this earth is my wife, Lynn. And one of my goals for this stage in my life is to be a true friend to our young adult children - Jess and Hunter. My dad has set a good example for me in that respect. His relationship with mom and all of us “young’uns” has been exemplary. Even when we didn’t see eye to eye, he has remained a true friend. I go to him often for advice and counsel. And he always tells me the truth, no matter how painful it might be to accept. A fellow pastor once told me, "Kevin, when you leave your church, in 10 years you'll be lucky if any of the people remember your name. Don't sacrifice your family." Wise advice for all of us...
True friendships are an important part of life. When troubling times come upon us, it is easy to isolate ourselves and feel as though no one really cares what we’re going through. During times of trial, our “fair-weather” friends often run away to avoid getting caught up in the strife. But a true friend is just the opposite. A true friend runs to you instead of away from you. A true friend is there to support and defend you regardless of the adversity you may be facing. One thing I have learned over the years is that the only way to gain true friends like that is to risk being disappointed. You have to risk a certain level of trust that may very well involve being hurt somewhere down the line. But, I can tell you from experience, the risk is worth the reward.
Several years ago Coach Pepper Rogers was having a really tough season at UCLA. Friends were few and far between. It seemed as if everyone was down on him, including the administration, the media, the alumni, the fans, his coaching staff and players, even those he considered to be his close friends. One evening he was feeling sorry for himself after a disagreement with his wife. He told her, “I think the only friend I have in this world is my dog. And that’s just not right. A man should have at least two friends." So the next day she went out and bought him another dog.
Job once found himself worked up emotionally into that same state. He felt as if no one was his friend, including his wife. Everyone seemed to be against him. While he was experiencing this time of darkness, He made an interesting comment. In Job 6:14 he said, "A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty." That’s a great description of a true friend. During the time of Job, forsaking the Almighty could result in immediate death – either from the religious authorities or directly from heaven. Have you ever heard someone say, “I need to stand away from you because God is liable to strike you dead”? Well, that’s the same kind of belief Job probably had. Yet he viewed the devotion of a friend as such that he would stand beside you even if fire and brimstone rained down from the skies. And isn’t that when we need true friends most - when we’re at our lowest point? I believe that’s one huge reason God blesses us with friends – not just for the good times, but also for the bad times.
This past weekend, my Mamaw, my dad’s mother went to heaven. And while she may have struggled with a lot of illness and physical ailments these past few years, losing your mother is never easy. Her death, although understood, has caused grief and sorrow for my dad, his brothers and sisters as well as our entire family. It’s during times like these that true friendship is most important. And it’s times like these that I’m glad I can wrap my arm around my dad’s shoulders, not just as a son, but as a friend, and tell him I love him – in good times and bad. That’s what friends are for. Solomon said, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17) I’m glad to say that I have friends like that… And I also have many opportunities to be a friend like that to others.
But the greatest friend like that is Jesus. He loves at all times. As one person said, “There is nothing you can do to make Him love you more; and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you any less.” The Bible says, [He’s] “A friend that sticks closer than a brother.” For some people, He may seem to be the only true friend they have. And while He is the all sufficient Lord, life shouldn’t have to be lived without other friends. We can each do something about that. Let’s be intentional about being a true and loyal friend to others. Not only will we help make life more bearable for others, we will also most certainly gain loyal, true friends in return. And the best place to start being a true friend is at home… with your brothers, sisters, parents… And all of us could also reach out more intentionally in being a true friend to those in the family of faith.

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